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—Chocolate—

Chocolate is not just a food--it is a religion. Specifically, there is the One True Chocolate--dark chocolate (the true faith). But there are dangers awaiting the unwary: milk chocolate has true chocolate in it, but only in a diluted form that leads innocents away from the true faith (heresy). White chocolate just takes the name of chocolate, but is obviously not really chocolate (paganism). The real danger, though, is carob. It appears to be real chocolate, but upon tasting it, the truth is revealed and the taster's soul is corrupted beyond repair (satanism).

The Best Chocolate
Lindt 85% Dark Chocolate
Dolfin 88% Dark Chocolate
Michel Cluizel Chocolat Grand Amer (85% Dark)
Bernard Castelain Chocolat Noir Extreme (85% Dark)

Good Chocolate
Lindt 65-80% Dark Chocolate
Rajoles Chocolate Negro (70% Dark)
Hachez Cocoa d'Arriba (77% Dark)
Rajoles Chocolate Negro (70% Dark)
A. Korkunov Dark Chocolate
Valhrona Dark Chocolate

Average Chocolate
Lindt 40-60% Dark Chocolate
Lake Champlain Pure Belgian Chocolate

Poor Chocolate
Lindt Milk Chocolate
Godiva Dark Chocolate
Hershey's Dark Chocolate

Bad Chocolate
Hershey's Milk Chocolate


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